t’s crazy to think that in just 7 months I am going to be married!!! Whaaaaat! Time is flying by and the wedding planning madness has ensued. I think a lot of couples, mainly my fellow ladies and myself included can get all wrapped in the nitty, gritty, lavish details. I mean...it’s your freaking wedding day! You’ve only been visualizing and dreaming of this moment since you were a little girl.
It’s normal for you to care deeply about the little things like flowers, decor, and music, but you should never care more about that stuff than you do about marrying your partner. Trust me, I know it’s not easy. You can fall quickly down the rabbit hole of Pinterest pinning all things wedding related and forget that this day actually includes two people, not just YOU!
If you’re a fellow bride to be I wanted to share 5 tips with you that have been keeping me centered and keeps our relationship on the up and up as we go through this planning process.
Tip 1: Be a Team Player
You and your partner are a team! Think... Super Bowl Champions, New England Patriots (I had to). You’ve got to communicate and work through the struggles together as a unit. If you can do that, then you’ll be celebrating some big wins! Not every guy is going to enjoy planning a wedding. It’s very rare they wish to help at all but it’s important to work together and make all the decisions as a united front.
Tip 2: What’s Your Non-negotiable(s)?
Something that has been truly helpful is writing a list of things that matter a lot to us on our wedding day. These are things that you don’t necessarily wanna budge or skimp on. For instance, having solid photographers and beautiful, real flowers were two big things I was willing to put a lot of money and time into. For my partner, it was music (like our wedding song) and having a lot of guests! And guess what? We cared very little about each other’s picks when we started planning our wedding but now they are very important to us because we understand that it matters a lot to the person we love. So, going forward, I know that music is a big deal for him and I can let whatever vision he has for it flourish. He maybe didn't care too much about flowers but now that he knows it’s important to me he views it differently.
Tip 3: Love Your Wedding Party
I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to get all dressed up with my friends. I truly love and adore our wedding party. Keep in mind that they’re your friends and by them saying yes to being in your wedding it means they’ll be spending time, money and energy on you! Now, I am sure they’re happy to do it but you need to remember it can be a little overwhelming for them too. Don’t demand things of them! If you’d like for them to be somewhere on a certain date give them some notice. Pamper them and shower them with little surprises here and there!
Tip 4: Plan Ahead
You might think 6 to 12 months is a long time to plan a wedding. That’s a bold-faced lie! Venues, caterers, photographers, music, and dresses all get booked several months in advance. Those trusty wedding binders and planners will come in handy but also creating a Google Doc that you and your partner can view and edit will save you both a lot of time and frustration. We created our entire wedding guest list on a spreadsheet and it was the best idea we’ve had yet!
Tip 5: Remember Your Why
Keep in mind the reason for all this planning is about walking down the aisle to your partner. Your why should simply be to get married. As long as that goal is successfully executed on that day then you’ve won the jackpot! Among the festivities and the bride-to-be-glow, you can lose sight of why this is all happening. You shouldn’t be losing your cool with your partner over things like what flavor your cake should be or how big or small the centerpieces are. Keep that team mentality going, always!
Now, I know these tips can’t save you from bickering from time to time with your partner throughout the journey but hopefully, these tips keep you grounded and bring you back down to earth when you’re off pin, pin, pinning on cloud nine!